The Chupacabra?
by Death For One
Summary: Lance wakes up to find John at the Brotherhood house many questions arise like, Why is he here? Why is there a goat? Who plays games at 2:30 am? Why was Todd out till 5 am? And is that a lipstick stain on his cheek?


**Disclaimer- I own nothing but the goat. So don't touch it. Also forgive me for not doing John's accent. If I did it would be horrible. P.S. I was bored and sleep deprived so this was born.**

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><p>The Chupacabra?<p>

Told in Lance's pov

My eyes snap open and I sit up with a jerk. Something is wrong. One minute I'm dreaming about Kitty and the next minute I'm wide awake and smelling smoke. Smoke? Oh crap. I quickly run downstairs. I jog into the kitchen and see the toaster on fire. I reach behind me and get the fire extinguisher.

"Hey why did you put out the fire?"

I turn around to look into John's face. Great the insane pyro is here. "Why are you here?"

"Nice undies." John laughs, turns around and walks into the living room. I feel my face get hot as I remember that I was wearing heart boxers. I start to follow John but stop when I hear a bleat. I look to my left and my jaw drops. "Why is there a black and white goat in the kitchen?" I yell to John.

"I don't know it was there when I arrived. Hey are you hungry? I am I'm going to make pancakes." Without waiting for my reply he pushes past me and to the cupboards. Fred slowly comes down drawn to the smell of food. "How can you two eat at two am?" I ask if I ate this early I'd be sick. They both shrug. "Well I'm going back to bed night." Fred said as he walked back to his room.

"We should play a game."

"Wait what? Who plays game's a 2:30?" I ask perplexed. Not to mention I was still in my underwear. "I do. The game is simple it's called The Chupacabra." John explains and pulls me out onto the porch. Figures at that moment a group of girls walk by. One of them points towards me and they all start laughing. I'm going to kill John for this.

"So do you understand?" John asked pulling me from my murder plans. "Understand what?" Seems like I've been asking a lot of questions lately. John slowly shakes his head and makes a tsk, tsk sound. "One of us is the Chupacabra and the other is the goat. The goat goes inside and hides. The Chubacabra stays out here and counts to fifty. Then he goes back inside and tries to find the goat."

"So this is basically hide and seek?"

"No silly-billy. The goat can't stay in one place for more than ten seconds. And the Chupacabra had to hold you down for five seconds,"

"Okay I'll be the goat." I tell him and head back in. I should go and get back into bed but he'd probably set the house on fire. I let out a grumble and a few choice words as I head to the closet. I don't bother counting to ten and just sit there listening for when he comes back inside. The door bangs open I send out a small whisper of thanks that Wanda is a heavy sleeper.

"So Oreo do you know where Lance is? You know the one with a mullet and has on heart undies. Yeah that one."

Who is he talking to? Now I regret agreeing to this stupid game. I hear the groan of the stairs and after a few seconds I slip out of the closet and go into the bathroom. I start to fall asleep when I hear John come back down.

"Wanda's really pretty when she's sleeping."

John was watching Wanda sleep. No wonder it took forever. I should tell Wanda when she wakes up and then run for my life.

"Really he's in there. Thanks Oreo."

The door slings open and hit me in the face. "Ow!" I yell and fall backwards. He literally pounces on me and holds me down for at least a minute. When he finally gets off he laughs hysterically. "Who's Oreo?" I ask as I stretch my back. "The goat." He reply's and goes back into the living room.

"You were talking to the goat?"

Before he could answer Todd strolls through the door. "Oh, hey John, Lance. What are you two doing up?"

"Stuff where were you? It's five in the morning." I ask staring at him. He shrugs and starts to walk upstairs. "Is that a lipstick stain on your cheek?" John asks scratching his head. "Uh… no." Todd stammers and begins to run up the stairs.

" The Chupacabra!" John yells and begins to chase after him. All the while having mini fire monsters following him. I groan and follow them. When I get up there John is sitting on Todd's back with soap in his hand. "Alright now tell me who she is and what you two were doing." John commanded shoving the soap closer to Todd.

"Okay she's another mutant and we went to the movies and hung out afterwards but we feel asleep in the park."

"What's her mutation?" I ask wondering what girl in her right mind would like Todd. "Well she's a toad like me. But she's really pretty. See look." Todd says and shoves a picture in my face. "Well she is sort of cute." I answer looking at the blond girl hugging Todd. Todd beams at that and then looks back at John.

"Can you get off me now?"

John nods and stands up. "What's her name?"

"Deloris." Todd answers and gets a faraway look in his eyes, "Well I'm hungry."

All three of us walk to the kitchen to get something to eat. We just sat down at the table to our Lucky Charms when Todd jumped up and screamed, "Baby Cakes!" I turned expecting Wanda but instead see the goat. "Is that your goat?" I ask hoping the answer would be no. Todd nodded and hugged Baby Cakes.

"Hold on a second her name is Oreo!" John yelled and slammed his fist into the table.

"No it's not and how did you come up with Oreo?"

"Well when I got here at eleven o'clock I was eating Oreos and when I saw the goat that's what I named her."

"Well I named her Baby Cakes when I bought her. So there." Todd huffed. John crossed his arms and stuck out his tongue. Todd retaliated by saying an insult about John's parents. Which lead to both of them screaming at each other. What a great day for Pietro to spend the night with friends. "Both of you knock it off!" I yell ending the onslaught of insults. "Relax dude." Todd told me. "Yeah you shouldn't yell." John seconded. I slowly shake my head willing myself not to rip of their heads or cause earthquakes. "So where were we?" Todd asked as he sat back down. "Screaming at each other."

"Oh right so I'll start again. Peanut butter!"

"Jolly ranchers!"

"Aunt Harry!"

"Uncle Samantha!"

"Pervert!"

"Rape!"

I bang my head on the table and ask myself 'Why didn't you just go back to bed to begin with?'. I spent the rest of the morning and next day listening to them yell at each other.

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><p><strong>Finally done but still bored and sleep deprived. Also for those of you wondering why girls would be walking down the road at 2:30 well that's because it's Tabitha and some friends. Because we all know Tabby like to party. So review please. Send a flame if you want cause I am a pyro and that would be awesome.<strong>


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